Sunday, March 8, 2009

I never thought it would be this hard

I am an atheist attending a Christian college. It is the only four-year college in my area, so my only other option is uprooting my family if I want to graduate. I thought that it probably wouldn't be so bad, that I'd just do my time and graduate and be done. I have nothing against Christians I just cannot believe in Christianity myself.
Notice I said I cannot believe. I do not think faith or lack of faith is a choice or a decision it is either an ability or inability, but this is a topic for another post. Back to why my school sucks.
First of all the Art department is a joke! My Aesthetics class is taught by the head of the Art department. On our first day of class we were talking about the principles of design, specifically line. He said "line is an effective design element because in the bible it says 'Jesus is the vine' and so God created line to emulate what Jesus would become." How am I supposed to swallow that?
Then in my first drawing class we drew nautilus shells because these shells are what proved to my professor that evolution was not possible. I have no idea how I kept my mouth shut.
I was required to take two religion classes this semester so I was taking intro to the New Testament, because I figured it could at least be interesting. I dropped that class after the professor insisted that if one did not believe in God then they were selfish and automatically lived horrible sinful lives and were stupid. Yes, he called me stupid.
The other class I cannot drop it is absolutely required along with going to chapel every week, yes they scan your I.D. cards at the door, and if you skip you fail the semester. Anyway this class is called Servant Leadership. It is a class taught by a preacher and a professor. In this class they show videos about how only Christians are good people and all other religions are false and selfish. It is also supposed to teach us how to be good people and put others first. I am a mother I already do that 24/7. The first day of class we had to stand up and tell everyone where we were at on our "religious journey." I decided I would not lie so I told them that I did not believe in god and that I was here out of convenience. Two people then invited me to lunch to tell me about Jesus. I am now the outcast. Everyone prays for me and feels sorry for me, they put their hands on my head and ask god to come into my heart. It makes me feel so violated.
First of all the consensus among these people (and I do not mean Christians I mean those in my class and my teachers) is that the only way someone becomes an atheist is if they believe the world is a terrible place and that they cannot believe in a god who would create such terrible conditions. They can't understand that I think the world is beautiful every last piece of it, they can't understand how Science can comfort me more than their god can. The won't understand that because I believe in Science that every "ugly" thing like floods and cancer and murder all make sense. That I believe no one is being smited or saved,but it all still makes sense.
They also automatically assume that because I am an atheist that I am some sort of monster, that I hold nothing dear and that I live selfishly. They also assume that I am out to convert believers into non-believers, I understand thought that every belief system and religion has it's place in the world I am not out to change anyone's mind. I'm not the one going on mission trips.
So I just got my midterm assignment:
Mark 12:30 reminds us to love God with all our Heart, Mind, Soul and Strength. We have been working our way through each of these areas:
A God-like heart
A Christ-like mind
A Spirit-like soul
A Servant Leader’s passionate strengths

Consider your stability and weakness in regard to these areas. Drawing from Pastor Andy’s lectures, readings, and group discussions, in three pages, describe where your Christ-centered leadership skills are.

How is your God-like heart, your Christ-like mind and your Spirit-like soul?
In what areas do you excel compared to the areas in which you need work?
How are these strengths/weaknesses manifest in a practical sense?
In what ways might these strengths/weaknesses affect your career path?

NOTE: Cite at least one assigned reading and two of Pastor Andy’s lectures.

I have no idea how to do this and stay true to what I believe.

By the way this is my last semester at this college.

3 comments:

  1. Wow Lacey! That would be near impossible for me or my husband to do. Both of us are non-believers as well. I'm just in shock reading your post about this school. But I have no idea how on earth I could write a paper like that besides BSing my way completely through it. Then again, it's hard to BS a paper that is so emotional and personally involved. These people.

    Is there anyway you can take online courses instead of going to this school?

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  2. Well, it's too late to drop and I don't want to ruin my GPA. So I have about 5 weeks left. Wait until I write about what happened today!

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  3. I am a Christian. To be honest it saddens me that there are other Christians out there like this. I don't find it offensive when I meet a non-believer, agnostic or atheist. I believe that is an issue between them and God. I do wonder why they may believe that way, but I never judge anyone because I am the last person that could ever judge anyone.

    I hope I don't offend you and I'm not preaching, but I believe Jesus came to this earth to show us love, to be an example to us. And when I hear other Christians treat people like this it just breaks my heart. We aren't supposed to judge others, we are only to love them.

    I hope you can find some way to get through this semester. Can you talk to the professor and maybe come up with an alternative?

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